If you are concerned about a friend or colleague

It is  important to understand that those who are experiencing harassment or bullying are often afraid to speak up. 

They may be ...

• afraid that they will be seen as over reacting or labelled as a complainer; 
• concerned about how their coworkers, boss or family will react if they say something;
• afraid that it will make things worse; or
• uncertain about what will happen when they do speak up.

As a friend or colleague, the best thing that you can do is listen to them and get help. Don't minimize their concern. Don't tell them to ignore it in hopes that it will go away. If they have found the courage to share their concern with you, you need to take their concern seriously.

You can encourage them to talk to a supervisor or the Conflict Management and Human Rights Office (CMAHRO). If you are comfortable doing so, offer to go with them. 

If you believe that your friend or anyone else might be unsafe, it is important that you contact the Campus Police.

You can also set up an appointment with Jeremy de Boer, Senior Case Consultant, Conflict Management and Human Rights Office.  We can help you determine the best way to help your friend or colleague.

When you arrange to meet with someone from our office the first thing we will do is listen.  After listening to your concerns, our staff will share information about policy and resources available at the University of Waterloo.  They will also discuss what options are available to address concerns either formally or informally.

Often people are afraid that when they come to us, they will lose control of the situation.  It is important to understand that you only need to share with us the information that you feel comfortable sharing.  In fact, you don’t even need to tell us your name if you don’t want to. We will explain what options and resources are available to you, but you get to decide what happens next.

At the end of your meeting we want to ensure that you:

• Have been heard and understood;
• Are aware of the policy on campus that is applicable to your concern;
• Are aware of different options available, both formal and informal;
• Are aware of the different services available at the Conflict Management and Human Rights Office;
• Are aware of other applicable resources on campus;
• Understand that the Conflict Management and Human Rights Office can provided direction regarding who would be responsible for addressing your complaint (Department/Faculty); and
• Are aware that we are available to meet with you as many times as necessary to accomplish the above.

Contact: Jeremy de Boer, Senior Case Consultant, Conflict Management and Human Rights Office