A writer's mind: visit today!

Tuesday, March 5, 2019
by Trenton Joseph McNulty

Visit the place where the magic begins and the fun never ends. Every day is a nail-biting adventure inside A WRITER'S MIND™!

Breath-taking beauty awaits you in this rainbow-land of fantastic ideas and colour-splashed coping strategies. Consider how grand it might be to pitch-tent upon the blissful symbolic plains of the subconscious. As you and your children fall asleep to the ever-present sound of tortured screams, you’ll bask with delight in all the wonders of nature responsible for such works as Ulysses, Twilight, Atlas Shrugged, and The Art of the Deal.

map of a writer's mind

Whether you delight in afternoon swims through sparkling reservoirs of defense mechanisms, or instead prefer to listen quietly to the incessant chirping of "obnoxious vocabulary" birds, A WRITER’S MIND™ has something for everyone…

STROLL down the homely and rustic streets of SHAME CITY as you try to ignore the judging eyes of strangers that stalk your every move. You feel guilty for strolling around without a care, though you don't know why. Maybe you should do something productive, you tell yourself. You're not lazy, of course. This line of thought seems healthy to you. 

DRIVE in an endless loop around the CUL-DE-SAC OF COMPULSIVE EDITS, circling the same ground again and again. Where were you even going? What were you trying to achieve? “I should be in Toledo right now,” you cry, weeping on the shoulder of the road.

SINK your feet into the muddy bosom of the CHANNEL OF SUBLIMATION and watch as disturbing impulses reshape themselves into golden, artful, socially-acceptable poetry. You smile softly to yourself, rejoicing in all the wonders of the Freudian ecosystem. 

TOUR the gallery of WRITER'S BLOCK DAM and watch as inspiring thoughts and memories circle endlessly through the turbines, never to see light again. Every year this perpetual motion generates over 4.5 billion kilowatts of pent-up frustration to power SHAME CITY. 

SUMMIT the heights of EGOMANIA MOUNTAIN and think for a moment (but only a moment) of how incredible you are compared to everyone else. You remember your mother, holding you as a child, saying: "You're going places, kiddo." You laugh. She didn't know how right she was. 

WALK through the VALLEY OF THE SHADOW OF SOCIAL MEDIA, and fear evil as the spectres of Facebook© and Twitter© dangle pretty lights from just off the path, luring you into the darkness. You follow them. 

FISH for pathetic hopes and abandoned manuscripts in SELF-DOUBT SWAMP as your children plug their noses in the putrid air. You wonder whether this vacation was a good idea after all. What a waste of time. You're such a bad parent. 

REST atop the PLATEAU OF CONTENTMENT as you congratulate yourself for having reached the top. Look at you! You've come so far. You deserve a break. Every year, park paramedics treat over 1000 cases of exposure and muscle atrophy in this spot alone. 

SCOOP a handful of dirt from the dry creek bed of INSPIRATION ARROYO, devoid of water over 98% of the year. Only on those few, arbitrary occasions when the muses call for rain does the floodplain overflow in a fleeting uprush of powerful emotion.  

... and so much more. 

All park proceeds go towards the protection of this natural wonder from the encroaching influence of REALITY and RESPONSIBILITY.