Today marks International Pronouns Day, an annual event that raises awareness on the importance of respecting and using individuals' chosen pronouns. Observed on the third Wednesday of October each year since its inception in 2018, the day encourages the proper use of pronouns and their role in affirming identities to create an inclusive society.
Why Pronouns Matter
Referring to someone by the correct pronouns is not just a matter of courtesy—it is essential in affirming their identity and preserving their dignity. Just as using someone’s correct name shows respect, using the correct pronouns fosters a sense of belonging and creates a welcoming environment. On the other hand, misgendering—intentionally or unintentionally using incorrect pronouns—can be hurtful, exhausting, and even considered a form of gender-based abuse. For many nonbinary, transgender, and gender-diverse people, having to correct others repeatedly is both tiring and humiliating.
Understanding Gender-Neutral Pronouns and Neopronouns
Gender-neutral pronouns, such as "they/them," are becoming increasingly common and are not new. In fact, their use dates back as far as 1375, when they appeared in the medieval romance William and the Werewolf . Singular "they" is now widely accepted as a gender-neutral alternative to "he" or "she."
In addition to "they/them," neopronouns have emerged as a way to refer to people outside of the traditional gender binary. Some of the more frequently used neopronouns include:
- Ey/Em/Eir/Eirs/Emself
- Ze/Hir/Hirs/Hirself
- Xe/Xem/Xyr/Xyrs/Xemself
These pronouns provide individuals with more options to express their gender identity in ways that align with how they experience and present themselves to the world.
Tips for Being an Ally
Being an ally to nonbinary and gender-diverse individuals means supporting and respecting their identities by using their correct pronouns. Here are some practical ways to show your support:
- Introduce yourself with your pronouns: When introducing yourself, share your name and pronouns to normalize the practice.
- Avoid assumptions: Don’t assume someone’s pronouns based on their appearance or name.
- Ask if you're unsure: If you’re uncertain about someone’s pronouns and they are present, simply ask them in a respectful manner. If possible, ask in private to avoid putting them on the spot in public settings.
- Encourage inclusivity: When asking for pronouns in group settings, invite everyone to share theirs if they feel comfortable, rather than singling out gender-diverse individuals.
By incorporating these practices into your everyday interactions, you can help create a more inclusive and supportive environment.
To learn more about pronouns and how to use them respectfully, visit the Pronouns FAQ on the Equity, Diversity, Inclusion, and Anti-Racism website.