On March 8th, 2023 four students competed in the C. Henry Smith Oratorical Contest. This contest invites people from Mennonite and Brethren in Christ colleges and universities across Canada and the United States to compete. Here at the University of Waterloo, Peace and Conflict Students as well as Grebel Residents were invited to share their voices on topics of Christian peace position on contemporary concerns and were judged on topic, content, delivery, introduction, conclusion, and creativity.
Zoe is a fourth year Peace and Conflict Studies student. They gave a speech titled “The Banality of Change: Talking about Pronouns and Why Queer Inclusion isn’t happening in Christian Spaces” which explored the topic of pronouns and how they should be engaged with to promote safe spaces in Christian organizations.
Zoe's speech came in second place. Congratulations Zoe!
You are encouraged to read the other speeches by Faraja, Stefan, and Rachel.
The Banality of Change: Talking about Pronouns and Why Queer Inclusion isn’t happening in Christian Spaces.
Zoe is an activist. She -sorry I mean they – are very active in her – sorry their – community.
I promise I am working on this, but you know, pronouns are hard.
This conversation is one that takes place so many times when people are talking about myself, my friends, and my peers. Pronouns are seen as an easy way to include people, create safe spaces, and acknowledge identity. However, most people do not think about pronouns on an everyday level. They are gestures of inclusion and that’s really it.
Bill C-16, signed on June 19th, 2017 was an amendment to the Canadian Human Rights Act and the Criminal Code. It protects individuals from discrimination based on gender identity and gender expression. It was a key moment of change that sent ripples out into the everyday. The mundanity of life. Creating a safety net, creating a platform to stand on when speaking up for ourselves in institutions and at work.
So how did that moment of change and others – those epicentres of forward-thinking, impact us in where we are? Many institutions, including Christian schools and organizations, were able to use this policy change, along with others, to help promote inclusion and to show their support for queer and marginalized communities.
And Zoe? They – see I got it this time – are so excited about this change and this forward thinking. Perhaps these are the small steps that will create a difference.
Because, after all, change doesn’t always exist in the protests and the policy and the shouting and the breakthroughs. There is a banality of change that exists far from the big decisions made over there that allows the little things right here to make a difference.
The challenge is, by the time changes in policy and practice reach the spaces that we inhabit every day, no one is thinking about the implications of them. Following the signing of Bill C-16 there were changes to workplace standards of diversity. Hiring and acceptance committees started being more aware of gender identity and diversity, and there were workshops and posters and pamphlets around corporate buildings. A ripple then washed over Christian and secular organizations alike, which was including pronouns in an email sign-offs and in introductions.
For Christian institutions, small signifiers like these -the roll-off of actual change – is an easy way to show that an organization is inclusive. It builds a weak scaffolding that can be covered in rainbow banners when needed and the rest of the time it stays quietly in the background. A weak foundation for a complex issue of identity and acceptance. Even though the policy has changed, not all people’s minds have.
In Christian peacebuilding, we talk about the importance of change and how to promote inclusion. This is echoed throughout scripture. Jesus told us to love our neighbour. This is echoed in Galatians 3:28 which says “There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus”. There is a cry for unity under God. Unity of gay people. Unity of trans people. Unity of questioning people. You cannot present love and a call to faith that is weakly propped up by pride flags in June and a new policy change, and not expect and encourage people to question it.
Peacebuilding is about creating spaces for hard conversations, introducing yourself with pronouns, but also learning to challenge and accept new ideas as they are presented to promote unity.
I had a conversation the other day with my partner who asked why it took so long for me to start introducing myself with the pronouns I prefer. I told him that I did not want to inconvenience anyone. If I said I used she/they pronouns then it is easier to excuse people who get them wrong. I would rather avoid the awkward stumbles as people hurry to correct themselves, interrupting their own thoughts and the conversation to do so.
If every new idea is accepted as reluctantly as my pronouns, the commonplace and everyday peacebuilding that Christian institutions talk of will never happen. It is important for pronouns, gender diversity, and queer inclusion to be accepted as a common and non-radical things. But this does not mean never engaging in challenging conversations around the implications of this with the people who will have to learn to accept.
I am so sorry. SHE is ranting again.
So to what end am I saying all of this?
There are epicentres of change and there is what reaches us as it ripples travel outwards. Change is not all picket fences and shouting, waving signs. Some of it takes place in the sacred mundanity of the everyday conversation. Stepping stones of change that encourage new ideas.
I did not tell people my pronouns for 2 years after coming to terms with the fact I am queer. If people asked, I would mention them in passing -and quickly assure people that they/them pronouns are hard and that it was not their fault. I would rather grimace internally at the misgendering of myself than have the professor stumble over unfamiliar phrases while addressing me in front of the class.
Christian space-building relies on the banality of change. It relies every day on people learning, thinking, and adapting to changing norms of inclusion and gender affirmation. There is never an overnight change, but incremental, individual changes add to the ripples and create bigger waves moving outwards.
We need to start looking at why the epicentres of change exist, and why they matter even when the change does not center around you.
Maybe I am too polite. I admit I should speak up, correct people, and see if it helps. Everyday inclusion like pronouns only works if each individual has grappled with what that change implies. What it means. And how to integrate those everyday changes into their lives. I should do my part. Mundane, everyday, Christian peacebuilding cannot look like tokenism and pronouns only in email signoffs. We need to learn to engage more deeply in these issues, regardless of personal belief.
Hafsat Abiola, a Nigerian civil and human rights activist once said that “Peace comes from being able to contribute the best that we have, and all that we are, toward creating a world that supports everyone. But it is also securing the space for others to contribute the best that they have and all that they are”.
Growing up a Christian and coming out as queer as a teen, I learned quickly how to tell if a space was accepting or not. I would listen for clues. Clues like other people introducing themselves with pronouns – their tone, other people’s reactions, and how people acted when I introduced myself. For many people it signals inclusion and acceptance without requiring any deeper thought. You hear in people’s voices whether they want to include pronouns and if they have considered the implications of those two small words.
Looking deeper than the surface and engaging intentionally with the mundane, banal, everyday change-making is what will enable people to contribute the best they can, to be safe and speak up, and to not be afraid to advocate for themselves.
My name is Zoe. I use they/them pronouns. Thank you.