Attending university is a meaningful milestone. For many, it represents freedom, growth and self-exploration. At the same time, it is undeniably stressful. Engineering students, in particular, face unique pressures due to the intensity of training. Research highlights heavy workload, difficult assignments, pressure to maintain high grades, competition among peers and pressure to pursue external academic enrichment as major stressors (Wilson et al., 2022; Sanders et al., 2025). Students also experience general lifestyle stressors, such as disrupted sleep, routine changes, and adjustments to a new environment (Acharya et al., 2018).
In response to these stressors, many students experience internal pressure (i.e., high expectations placed on oneself). Indeed, engineering students are often described as high-achieving and are prone to perfectionism (Mirabelli et al., 2025; Sanders et al., 2025). In striving to meet these standards, work-life balance is frequently compromised, leading to poorer mental and physical health (Mirabelli et al., 2025). External pressures (i.e., pressure imposed by others) from professors, parents and extended family members are also common (Wilson et al., 2022). These expectations may be shaped by cultural context; for instance, some research suggests that parents from collectivistic cultures place higher expectations on their children than parents from individualistic cultures (Yamamoto & Holloway, 2010).
Setting Reasonable Standards (That Work for You)
Engineering students navigate a blend of academic, personal, and cultural or family obligations. Some are controllable, some are not. Setting reasonable standards means adjusting expectations, from yourself and others, that work within your reality. For some students, saying “no” or setting boundaries may not feel possible or culturally appropriate. Instead, the goal is to find flexible strategies that feel realistic with your circumstances, values and community. Below are several approaches to consider, keeping in mind that not all will apply to everyone:
1. Setting Realistic, “Good Enough” Standards: Moving Away from Overachieving
Engineering programs reward constant effort, involvement and productivity. However, stretching yourself too thin generally leads to exhaustion, not excellence. Research shows that realistic goal setting improves academic engagement, stress, and self-efficacy (Shalaby & Elkasaby, 2023).
A helpful approach is shifting from perfectionistic attitudes to “good enough” standards that reflect the time and energy you have. This does not mean slacking; rather, it means being intentional about where your effort goes. Even minor adjustments can create breathing room. Examples might include:
- Completing an assignment, without making it flawless
- Prioritize readings by reading the most important articles/chapters first. This way, if you can’t complete all readings prior to the next class to have covered the most important ones
- Prioritizing high-impact tasks (e.g., focusing on the assessments worth more of your grade)
- Studying in focused blocks, instead of marathon sessions
- Letting go of non-essential tasks, commitments, or obligations
- Occasionally saying “no” to opportunities
2. Learning to Let Go of Failure and Celebrate Your Achievements
When expectations aren’t met, it’s easy to experience disappointment, guilt and self-criticism. Letting go of failure and the associated feelings does not mean ignoring how you feel, but rather, recognizing mistakes as temporary, a part of learning and a part of the human experience. Research demonstrates that forgiving yourself supports overall well-being (Wohl & McLaughlin, 2014).
Simultaneously, many students forget to acknowledge their successes. Celebrating achievements, no matter how big or small, reinforces motivation and confidence. These celebrations do not have to be large; theycan be something small and reasonable (e.g., cooking your favourite meal, or telling yourself: “good job, I’m proud of you”).
3. Practicing Boundary Setting with Loved Ones… in Doable Ways
Not all students experience family boundaries in the same way. For some, family involvement is expected and deeply tied to identity, care, and responsibility. In these contexts, setting firm or explicit boundaries with loved ones can feel complicated or even inappropriate. Importantly, boundaries do not need to be rigid or confrontational to be effective. Instead, students may benefit from using more flexible, context-specific approaches, such as:
- Time-bound boundaries (e.g., “I can call you back tomorrow at 2p.m., once I finish my lab report”)
- Negotiated compromises (e.g., “I want to help you, but I have an exam tomorrow. Can we do this together on Monday instead?”)
- Shifting from detailed updates to big-picture ideas (e.g., instead of: “I got a 78 on my math assignment,” consider saying “classes are going well, I’m learning a lot this semester”).
- Keeping some decisions private, especially low-stakes ones (e.g., which elective to take)
4. Avoid Comparing Yourself to Your Peers
“Comparison is the thief of joy” – this saying exists for a reason. Comparing yourself to your peers is almost automatic, but research shows that social comparison often reduces self-confidence and self-esteem (Vogel et al., 2014). When you catch yourself comparing:
- Try redirecting your thoughts
- Compare to your past self instead
- Remind yourself that you rarely see the full picture of someone else’s struggles.
5. Practice Self-Care and Give Yourself Permission to Rest
Self-care is integral to one’s health and wellbeing (Butler et al., 2019). One part of self-care is giving yourself time to decompress. This does not mean taking a whole day off or completely disconnecting. It also shouldn’t feel like an “all or nothing” approach. Instead, look for small, doable ways to pause and recharge, such as:
- Take a 15-mintue meditation break
- Take a walk after a study session
- Spend time with people who ground you
- Watch one TikTok video on a topic of interest
Remember that recuperating will make you more productive in the long run (Wilson et al., 2022)!
6. Build a Support Network that Aligns with Your Identity
A strong support system is especially beneficial for engineering students (Wilson et al., 2022). Support should reflect you – your identity, cultural background, and lived experiences. Consider connecting with:
- Peers or classmates
- Student or cultural associations, or clubs
- Mentors, professors, and advisors who share lived experiences
For many students, reaching out for additional academic or mental health supports may be stigmatized. In reality, seeking help demonstrates self-awareness, commitment to your goals, and resilience. Depending on your needs, useful resources may include:
- Tutoring services
- Study groups
- Accessibility supports
- Counselling services (many of which provide culturally supported services)
Guest Writer - Mila Popovic
Mila is a PhD-level therapist at the Cognitive and Interpersonal Therapy Centre and a doctoral student in the Clinical Psychology PhD program at Lakehead University. She has experience providing both therapy and comprehensive assessments across outpatient and inpatient settings.
In her therapeutic work, Mila support individuals navigating concerns related to mood, anxiety, self-concept, relationships, and executive functioning. She works with clients across the lifespan and takes an integrative approach, drawing on Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), and mindfulness-based strategies. She also has experience independently facilitating inpatient group therapy programs, teaching core DBT, CBT, and mindfulness/relaxation skills.
Additionally, Mila has conducted a wide range of psychological assessments—including cognitive, learning, personality, psychodiagnostic, ADHD, and developmental assessments, with clients aged 4 to 50+.
Whether providing therapeutic or assessment services, Mila is committed to creating a compassionate, collaborative, and non-judgmental space, with the belief that these components are essential to achieving effective therapeutic outcomes